Low conscientiousness + big ambitions = discontentment, pathology, seriousness & a limited and less open living style.
Kill / end ambition and find peace.
You need Dignity
You need responsibility
Too much ambition stifles the intrinsic
With the extrinsic
It’s too expensive
If you put on a different ‘self concept’
You get a different ‘self’.
(Conversion experience = loss of the belief ‘I am worthless’ etc.)
Imagining that I am of average intellect makes me feel so different.
Ambition fades. There is less potential to be realised.
The pressure is off.
I am free to just be me.
(I will probably read more fiction, less non-fiction. I will probably go fishing more and be less interested in starting a tech startup. I will be less serious, more playful.)
Do you become a slave to what you worship?
Do you become a slave to your source of self-worth?
Can I pick another, please?
But without status, without ambition to drive me to attain it
Won’t I be out-competed for limited resources?
Won’t my wife’s eye wander up the hierarchy?
The glittering path brings power and admiration.
There are other things.
Gracefulness. Freedom. Genuine attention is available to those who aren’t possessed.
There are intrinsic things the extrinsic things were supposed to deliver all along… At your finger tips.
People recognise them. You won’t lack.
Interpretation: I am concerned that if I switch self-concept away from intellect (or something like that) being my source of self-worth, towards something else, something more gentle, less intense, that this will result in me losing my ability to climb hierarchies and attain admiration from women. I don’t want to be dismissed as unremarkable, I could tolerate it from strangers, but not from my own wife! The reality is that hypergamy is built into women and they can’t overcome it easily, not without some stronger dogma. Life is zero sum, in other words, I want the long straw and all the fruit that comes with it. I have seen this in my life and am confident that those at the top do indeed have it easier, have it better and have more access to the things people want.
But then again, when you are no longer driven to achieve in this way, your attention is freed up, because those that pursue ambition like that are possessed people, blinkered. They continuously trade inherently good things to gratify their ambition. This extra attention you have can be spent on things of intrinsic value, that maybe don’t offer glittering achievements, but justify themselves. These are the things people wish they had spent more time doing when they are dying. These things include that family holiday you were busy for, that funeral you missed, the cooking skills you didn’t have time to develop, the relationship with your wife and kids you didn’t invest enough time in, the simple pleasure of doing fucking nothing for a week, to be able to walk through a forest or travel without the sense that you have some great vision that is being neglected the whole time. Even your dreams are stolen from you when you’re ambitious, your dreams every night will be spent on problems, barriers, challenges, fantasy, I bet ambitious people don’t dream about the world being made of chocolate. There’s no time for simple pleasure. The bitter irony for the ambitious is that the fruits they were chasing are were often available before they’d even begun, it was at their finger tips, but they ran a decades long marathon to get it.
‘Why are you ambitious for an impressive career?’
‘Because then I will feel that I have the security to spend my time helping people and will have the money to travel whenever I want and have more free time to spend with my girlfriend and friends out in nature, like fishing.’
‘Ok, but you can help other people now and will get better at it with practice which you’ll get from starting sooner rather than waiting till you get financial security, so that is at your finger tips and may even be harder to get if you work for it. As for travel, you have free time and money now and can already travel a shit ton without an impressive career. In fact, an impressive career will almost certainly give you less time to travel and less time with your friends and family.’
‘But what about status, I want a sense of self-realisation that comes from an impressive career’.
No, you poor thing, who told you self-realisation comes from an impressive career? Teachers? Don’t you know they have a vested interest in that narrative? Self-realisation can take many forms and express itself in many ways, but in essence is means to live in a way that is true to your nature as much as you can, and to do this in a way that maximises the good you can offer to others as much as you can. That’s self-realisation. That may or may not involve a career, but even if it does, it doesn’t begin with ambition, it begins with nurturing and feeding and investing in things that are rewarding to you AND that are sustainable and offer value to others.
Ambition often pulls you away from self-realisation, because it’s a social-construct, not personal.
To conclude, you should meticulously separate the ambition in you that is selfish and about glory from that which is selfless and about nurturing yourself and others into what they could be. Put your money behind the second kind.
You might end up with an impressive career anyway, but you’ll get there without all the strife and struggle. It will be easy.
If the version of you driven by selfish ambition at 70 went for lunch with the version that focused his efforts of selflessness and developing his true nature rather than trying to carve himself into a lifeless statue, an ideal, he would break down and weep at the tragedy. He would realise he spent nearly everything to get almost nothing. But don’t worry, this wouldn’t happen, he didn’t have time to meet you anyway… and if he did, he would be so blinkered he wouldn’t have really seen you. On the inside of his glasses is printed a little measure, with set units, he doesn’t realise it’s there, he sees life through the narrow prism of socially-recognizable achievement.
Please tell me, who is the real loser? Please answer – don’t ignore the question. Who is the real loser?
SIDE: I have developed the idea I had in the night here, but haven’t said anything about HOW you actually change self-concept. This is very difficult. I only discovered this exists, bizarely, when using two different methods to calculate IQ on my scores. One methodology says I’m top 2%, the other says average. When I accept the average score, I feel strangely free. All of this came from the analysis as to why that is. I realised ambition is at the core of it. I also saw in the IQ of 100 the potential to be a different person, to see myself differently and thus to become so.
(With all this extra attention you have for those around you, for the things of intrinsic good worth in life, you will find that others do notice you as one of those people with abundance anyway, you will get what the ambitious people were looking for without even trying, it will seem a tragedy)