Just had a meeting with my boss in which I was supposed to have prepared some work. The work was done sloppily and I couldn’t remember anything useful about the work, which meant that both of us will look bad to somebody that I think might be quite senior in the business.
Surely this should make me feel stressed? I felt negative emotions – slightly depressed about my lack of ability “I must be really lazy to have not done that” and guilt for letting James down. I felt a little sorry for him that he hired me.
However, I don’t feel any noticeable stress at all, in fact I feel quite relaxed and it hasn’t really bothered me very much.
I think I am bothered by the abstract concept of what others think, but less so by the day to day reality of what others think. In other words, the idea of being judged negatively by a group I respect would certainly bother me, but actually being judged in the moment, with the exception of a few specific people, would not bother me very much.
Or maybe it’s just my mood today because I’m feeling a bit down about Matt’s breakup.